Fall fear: Life in the sniper's path

Editor's note: After one of the largest manhunts in U.S. history, two suspects were arrested in connection with the Washington, D.C.-area sniper case. Washington resident Allissa Hosten contributed this story about living with fear to the Observer-Dispatch in Utica, N.Y.

By Allissa Hosten
Summer 2002 Scholar

Posted: Oct. 25, 2002

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For me, the scariest thing about October in Washington used to be the threat of getting my trick-or-treat bags stolen. One yank from the neighborhood bully and I could be going home bleary-eyed with a tattered costume and a handful of Smarties that a sympathetic onlooker donated.

But times change and so do fears. With an elusive sniper killer on the loose here for three weeks, I wish I could feel scared about candy again. Even with the arrest of suspects in the case Thursday that fear lingers.

This Fall was supposed to be a season of well-deserved relaxation. After spending four homesick years away at college in New Orleans and after three months as an intern at the Observer-Dispatch, I couldn't wait to return to my beloved hometown. I'd catch up with old friends and visit all the autumn attractions the city had to offer.

Then, on Oct. 2, the sniper attacks began.

What should have been an elated homecoming was replaced by a quiet paranoia.

With each bullet the sniper shoots, with each death of fellow metro-area resident, I ask myself if any place is truly safe any more.

Washington, D.C., is the last place I'd felt truly safe. That was before the Tarot cards, the inaudible cassette tapes, the sharp-shooting murders became headline news. I didn't feel safe in New Orleans until the hurricane season was over. During the first semester of my freshman year, I remember wading through waist-high water to get to my dormitory, while all around me biting ants and rats were hanging on for dear life.

When I went to Utica, I was afraid of being on my own for the first time. My apartment didn't have a deadbolt lock, so I spent many nights lying awake, eyes locked on the entry of the door. I had a million plans for what I would do if someone entered -- but I never needed them.

I want to feel safe again, like I don't need a plan to do ordinary things.

I don't need to lock the gas nozzle in place and scamper back into the car till the pumping stops.

I don't need to walk down the street in zigzags.

I want to feel at ease once more, as I did in Utica, when I could meander in the parking lot of Sangertown mall as long as I wanted.

Here, I wouldn't shop at an establishment unless it has a multi-level parking garage -- but after last Monday's sniper killing in a Home Depot garage, I'm not so sure about that.

In Utica, I could traipse down the main drags with what now seems luxurious nonchalance. Now, moving along D.C.'s main streets requires those zigzag paces, phony detours into shops and a few calculated pauses behind poles or trees.

I don't know what to do now that home no longer feels like home. Now that Guardian Angels are out in force, hoping to restore public confidence but the empty store parking lots show that they have failed.

I have tried to continue living a normal life, but two steps into the street and I am anxiously dashing for cover. Like other area residents, I've even begun playing detective. I've noticed a pattern of four: Four deaths occurred within the first two hours of the Oct. 2 spree; four attacks took place at gas stations; and four occurred near Michaels craft stores.

But then I realize that looking for patterns is futile. The sniper broke all patterns by making an unprecedented weekend attack and making the attack much farther south. Further, the familiar, heavily relied upon tip of the white van/box truck has led to arrests that went nowhere.

So I, along with the rest of the D.C. Metro area, simply wait. And hope that the killer doesn't think this is like taking candy from a baby. The fear is different.

Allissa Hosten was a 2002 Summer intern at the Observer-Dispatch. She is attending graduate school at Northwestern University. Reach her at allihost98@hotmail.com.

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