Direct quotations: Accuracy, flavor come with their use

By Dick Thien
Chips Quinn Writing Coach

A direct quotation consists of someone's exact words. Direct quotations provide authority, liveliness and variety, but inexperienced reporters overuse them. That is partly because quotes come prewritten. The reporter simply transfers the quotes from pad to computer and the job is done. But news stories are written, not transcribed. The spoken word is unorganized, hesitant and filled with repetitions and qualifications. Almost always, direct quotations can be rewritten so the material is clearer, simpler -- and shorter.

Here are some guidelines to help decide when to use direct quotations:

1. Do not use direct quotations simply to relay information.

NOT: "The rate of taxation on St. Louis properties will increase by 15 percent," Jones said.

TRY THIS: Property taxes will go up 15 percent, Jones said. (Notice that the reporter can still attribute the information to Jones, even though Jones' words are not used.)

2. Do use direct quotations when they give flavor, accurately describe a situation or person, help define the character of the speaker, make accusations or judgments, or strike you as clever.

EXAMPLES (from "Best Newspaper Writing"):

"If God wanted us to have life tenure," he said, "he would have made all of us federal judges." -- former New York Mayor Ed Koch.

"People went over, under, through and around every time we tried to restrict access to what we believed to be dangerous areas," Sheriff William Closner of Skamania County said.

"Ted, you are a tough competitor and a superb campaigner," Bush said in his speech last night.

3. To cover for poor note-taking skills, reporters sometimes rely on "orphan" quotes. They, "unfortunately," often relay to the reader a "meaning" or "nuance" to a word or "phrase" not "intended" by the speaker.

EXAMPLES (from "Best Newspaper Writing"):

. . . the mayor says that racism can be a two-way street, that discrimination is not solved by reverse discrimination, that there are "black rednecks as well as white red-necks," that the rights of society must be paramount.

There, for the first time, he saw a definite line in the sky "like something out of a crazy science-fiction movie."

4. In using partial quotes, be wary of awkward shifts of pronouns.

NOT: The mayor said he wanted nothing more "than to see my efforts meet with success."

BUT: "I want nothing more than to see my efforts meet with success," the mayor said. (Or simply paraphrase entirely: The mayor said he wanted nothing more than to see his efforts . . .

Be doubly wary of using the wrong pronoun.

NOT: The mayor said that "he wanted...."

TRY THIS: The mayor said that he "wanted...."

5. Also be wary of using third-person pronouns in first-person quotes.

NOT: The mayor told the teachers that "if they were smart they would vote for him."

TRY THIS: The mayor told the teachers that, "if you are smart, you will vote for me."

6. Try to avoid inserting parenthetical information inside a quotation.

NOT: "He (Johnson) is a bum," Jones said.

TRY THIS: Jones called Johnson "a bum."

7. As a rule, you will not want to use quotes in large chunks. But if the source is speaking concisely or cleverly, you can stand back and let her or him do the work.

EXAMPLE ("Best Newspaper Writing"): "Now nobody walks out on 1,100 Irish and Italian Catholics in a church setting," the mayor said. "Somebody asked me, how can you do this? I said, you don't treat me with respect, I walk out. They've got a kangaroo court in there and I don't happen to be a kangaroo."

8. The ellipsis is seldom employed in news writing because large blocks of straight quotation are rarely used. An ellipsis tells the reader that something has been left out of a quotation. The sign is three spaced periods flanked by a space on each side.
(Jones said that . . . the ship).
When the ellipsis starts at the end of a sentence, four periods are needed.
(he said. . . . In other matters,).

EXAMPLE ("Best Newspaper Writing"): "I know I am breaking precedent to come here tonight," the GOP's 2000 nominee for president said, ". . . but I felt it necessary to break tradition.

". . . It is true a number of Republican leaders . . . felt as I am sure many of you felt . . . that a ticket should include my dad, former President George H.W. Bush."

9. In straight news writing, use the past tense for attribution. The moment a word is spoken, it is in the past. Present tense sounds stylish but requires great skill to use it properly. Once you start in present tense, be consistent. Do not switch tenses, the No. 1 sign of a sloppy writer.

NOT: "The country is in serious trouble," Johnson says.
Speaking to Rotarians Thursday night, Johnson said the ingredients were . . .

BUT: "The country is in serious trouble," Johnson said.
Speaking to Rotarians Thursday night, Johnson said . . .

10. In reported speech, the "said" verb is the governing (controlling) verb and therefore controls the tenses of the subordinate verbs.

In reported speech, when the "said" verb is in the past tense, the primary tenses of subordinate verbs must be changed to secondary tenses. Accordingly, present is changed to past, perfect to past perfect, future to conditional, and future perfect to conditional perfect. Thus:

-- Reported: He said that though he was old he was energetic.
-- Reported: She said she had aged but she had not lost her energy.
-- Reported: He said he would go but he would be late.
-- Reported: She said she would have lost her patience by then.
-- Reported: He said he thought the war was immoral.

As in parenthetical speech, the persons of pronouns in reported speech are changed from first to third, and from second to third.

Note: Many newspapers do not use the sequence of tenses, though it is grammatically correct. That often is because the editors' standards are lower than they should be. Others take the position that while attribution normally will be in past tense, verbs within the attributed statement may well be in present tense. Someone's opinion, expressed to a reporter on a given day, continues to exist.

EXAMPLE: She said she thinks the war is immoral.

11. Documents, which continue to exist after a reporter reads them, should be cited in present tense, and, when possible, the use of the imprecise said should be avoided.

EXAMPLE: Court records show that Jones was arrested twice before on assault charges.

The timeless phrase "according to" also may be used when writing about records.

EXAMPLE: According to the accident report, Jones was driving east on Vine Street when his car's brakes failed.

12. Avoid quotes that echo the preceding sentence -- stutter quotes -- either in word choice or meaning.

EXAMPLE: "I haven't felt better all year," Barry Bonds said. He recently spent 10 days in traction for muscle spasms in his lower back. "Tonight is the best I've felt all season."

Rules aside, train your ear so you can use quotes effectively. Pay attention to how writers blend paraphrase and direct quotes, and handle attribution. Using quotations requires a sense of precision, coupled with a sense of style.

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Write It Right is updated regularly. Have a suggestion for a future column, contact Dick Thien.

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